


Words

by Naaaana



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Character Development, Disabled Character, Dyspraxia, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Speech Disorders, this will be super long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-06 01:58:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12807114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naaaana/pseuds/Naaaana
Summary: "You are enough."The most effective way to communicate is through words. Even though people said emotions can't be described by words, that it is not enough to convey the true weight of human feelings, Naruto who was diagnosed of dyspraxia on his fifth living years found that supposedly inspirational quote to be wrong and undeserving.Him who couldn't even manage a simple 'Yes' or 'No' without carefully conscious of his lips and tongue movements, couldn't write without pen slipping from his fingers and couldn't walk in a straight line without stumbling on his own feet found those words to be unfair. All he ever wanted was to love and to be loved. He wanted to be enough.





	1. Destitutione

“Can you tell me your name?” Tsunade, Namikaze’s child therapist tried again for the fifth time of their last treatment session for the week.

Naruto was staring off towards something behind her, ignoring his therapist instruction while his attention focussed on the colourful birds chirping and strutting merrily at the edge of Tsunade’s balcony. “Naruto? Eyes on me.” With a fleeting tap of her pen on the black clipboard in her hands, it snapped whatever trance Naruto was in. The young boy was slow to correctly coordinate himself and finally meeting his therapist chartreuse eyes.

The blonde youngster doe eyes fluttered once, lips commencing and closing briefly before Naruto determined otherwise, snapped his lips close and promptly preclude his cerulean eyes downwards. “How about we try again. What is your name?”

The five-year-old child optics shone bright, orbs sun-kissed until the cerulean looked almost Verdigris under the orange light. Naruto tried to articulate his name, one that he had done numerous times before in the same room, “Uh...” The first syllable that fell from his lips made a fond smile cracked at the corners of Tsunade’s lips, encouraging.

“Nuh! …Na.” By the third tries, the young Namikaze was disheartened with himself, unsatisfied with his inability to verbalize his own name. “It’s okay, go slow. What’s your name? Na...” Tsunade instructed him again, now softer obviously recognizing the anxiety rising in her patient’s gut.

Cerulean eyes finally encountered chartreuse, pinkish lips and tongue wriggled in vain to try and structure the precise sounds to utter his name. “Nah. Na…rhu. No! Na…hu…hudo.”

“Great work! I’m so proud of you Naruto, how ‘bout we try that again?” Enlivened, Tsunade hunched forward, carnation painted nails curved carefully around the youngster’s chubby cheeks. What ensued next was foreseen but Tsunade flinched back guiltily all the same when the white chair the boy was sitting on clattered and fell onto the ground bringing Naruto with it due to the child’s haste to get away from her hand.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” The therapist was quick to assist Naruto up, minding not to swarm the tyke who was shaking his head, lips started to frame words yet was not able until the point when he stopped the action to push Tsunade who was helping him standing the seat back. The child pulled back several steps away, all non-verbally and Naruto tried desperately to gesture her not to get close. Hot tears glistening like crystal beads on his bottom eyelashes threatening to fall.

The young auricomous doctor backed away to sit on her own swivelling chair holding her own hands up. It is normal for dyspraxia child to be over-sensitized to touch and developed a dislike and or aversion of being touched. The young blonde’s refusal to meet her eyes indicated that she should stop the session for that day and let him cool down at home before attempting to try coaxing him into uttering words again.

“How about we continue our session next week?” Wearing the professionalism back on her previously perturbed visage, she checked-off the clipboard before signing something on it, too fast for Naruto’s eyes to follow and slipped the clipboard back into her drawers.

“Nah, rhu…hu…no, ho- ome.” Soft, often monotonous sounds that Naruto produced made him grimaced, dismayed with his own articulation and all he wanted to do was console his teacher, doctor and his first friend. He didn’t want to go home yet, Naruto desired to learn more, speak better, pronounce words better without having to repeat as numerous as right then. He wanted to hurry and make friends like everyone else, like his twin brother Menma. Naruto wanted to hurry and tell his parents of the progress he was making, tell them about his days, how he now can pronounce his own name and that how lonely he was.

Tsunade picked up the office phone and Naruto realized that Tsunade didn’t understand what he was trying to convey just now. Of course, she wouldn’t, not with only one word that she managed to capture. “Miss Kurenai will be right over upstairs to fetch you home. I hope we will be able to continue with our current progress next week. I’m sorry about before Naruto.”

Tsunade’s eyes were soft, regarding him worriedly as she passed him his coat. The young boy only shook his head before reaching for the clothing article only for the clothing to fall from his grasp onto the floor instead. The Namikaze junior made a distorted huffing sounds, almost like a breathy whistling before bending his short legs to grab his coat back. Tsunade watched as the coat slipped from his finger for the second time and readied to help him with it until Naruto grabbed it again, now firmly and safe in his chubby fingers.

The obvious contentment of such small achievement was palpable when Naruto chortled in mirth, short and wrong-sounding but at least he made a verbal recognition of his own emotions, something that he often never does. Wearing the coat was a bit tricky as he tried to button up his coat. The childish frown etched on his forehead seemed to be perpetual as the youngster meticulously tried to fit the button into its slot but not without difficulties, fingers too feeble making it impossible to try and get a decent hold on the little fastening. The progress was slow, but he managed at least two until Tsunade offered to help and he let her with a breathy, “Tha… ta… sss-sank.” He needed to more work on pronouncing several common words like the greetings, gratitude, and the apologies but Tsunade only smiled in respond to his gratefulness.

“Naruto-sama? Ready to go?” Kurenai, Naruto’s personal babysitter broke the moment, in her hand Naruto’s Star Wars backpack was already zipped up and firmly in her clutch, a grin readily imprinted on her red lipstick tinted lips. Naruto couldn't pivot sufficiently quick enough to welcome his guardian, stumbling on his awkward feet as he aimed to advance towards her. The untainted chuckle that he let out at his own particular clumsiness to facilitate his own appendages made the two ladies in the room exhaled in alleviation. Though Kurenai bent down to aid him up, the young Namikaze to wave her off in a refusal of her assistance. Naruto didn’t need people coddling him, he is five!

Straightening back up, Kurenai tried again, patiently, softer this time, “Let’s head home.”

“Uh...Kuh- Ka, Ka. Hhh- ho. Nuh. Nn-no. Kah… kay.” venturing nearer to clutch the trim of her trench coat, Naruto endeavoured to let out an insistence, he jabbered on pointlessly similar to a new-born child attempting to shape his first word only to be baffled with his own muscle foreswearing to work with the exertion he put on attempting to explain towards his guardian appropriately.

Seeing the young's conspicuous embarrassment, the brunette attempted to remedy, livened up the circumstance as she lead them down the stairs towards the taxicab that was holding up to send them home. “Okay? The Uchiha’s are over again today, aren’t you happy? There’s Itachi-sama and little Sasuke-sama. You can play with them.”

Deciding he had enough time trying to vocalize himself for the day, he only made a sound behind his throat and a nod signalling that he concurred with her. The Uchiha are their standard visitors as the two families go way back, more than a few ages standing proud as two of the most noticeable family in the business world, once in a while as business accomplices, sometimes as common investors and now and then as opponents. Be that as it may, the Uchiha and Namikaze will never fail each other.

The ride back home was noiseless, Kurenai on her phone while Naruto engrossed himself with a Majorelle blue theraputty in his right hand. The doctor hasn’t been able to detect his dominant hand yet, whether he was right-handed or left-handed because of his dyspraxia, Naruto tended to do his everyday tasks with both of his hand. The young boy was self-reliant, even though he immensely required assistance such as to hold the fork and the knife and even the basic routine like combing his hair and brushing his own teeth reduced him into embittered gibbering mess, words only the young lad knew rushing out in slurred and impossible to discern accent.

* * *

Namikaze Naruto started pre-school the same as his twin brother Namikaze Menma as early as three years old when Menma showed a promising intelligence. His brunette counterpart was fast to catch on words, even quicker to learn how to walk and eventually running. Naruto on the hand was lagging far behind, at three years old, he couldn’t even sit without guidance and the youth hasn’t uttered his first word yet unlike his twin little brother. He jabbered, making undistinguishable noises to tell people what he wanted, even though Minato and Kushina tried their best to correct him when they were around When they inquired him to repeat after them, imitate what they were saying, he faced hardships in attempting to do so until all he managed was to cry out of frustration.

By the time they diagnosed him of dyspraxia, Naruto was already turning five – both Namikaze patriarch and matriarch were wearied of their firstborn condition when they send him for a check-up after receiving concerned words from his teachers. The pre-school educators told Kushina that her young boy was not making friends, that he was getting bullied because he wouldn’t speak. The teachers told Minato that Naruto was slow, often inconsistent while learning, that his motor skill was very poor, and that Naruto needed help. First time hearing about this, both parents were ready to sue the school, deeming them spewing nonsense to camouflage their obvious inability to teach a child, not until Tsunade, Kushina’s longtime friend offered to diagnose Naruto.

The therapy began as soon as his illness was confirmed, four times a week, occupational therapy, speech therapy and perceptual motor skill therapy. At first, Naruto vehemently declined the idea to undergo the rehabilitation, concealing himself beneath his bed every time Kurenai came over to fetch him to the rehab centre due to the foreign notion and discomfort of allocating the majority of his time to a stranger he just met. After the tenth session, the clawing and tantrums gradually ceased, replaced with renewed vigour to improve himself. Tsunade didn’t know what made him that way, but she was glad that Naruto was finally trying.

* * *

Their arrival to Namikaze manor was greeted with the appearance of Hatake Kakashi instead of the usual servants, one raven eye curving along with the delight on Minato’s PA lips as he regarded the young lord. Naruto’s resemblance to Minato was uncanny, from the tanned, unflawed skin, angelic cerulean orbs to the Aureolin of his hair though it was a shame that the boy was diagnosed with dyspraxia, possibly a life-long disease. “Good evening Naruto, Kurenai. From the clinic?” The tall man handed packet of marshmallow candies towards Naruto who accepted the item without fuss knowing that the child had difficulties to swallow and chew food sometimes.

Naruto let Kurenai replied for him, less he made a fool of himself in front of Kakashi. “Yes, and you’re here for Mr Minato I presume?” Kakashi only chortled as he waved the documents in his hand before heading inside with them.

“I’ll direct you to the office, Mr Hatake.” Kurenai was swift to offer assistance but not before instructing Naruto to go wash up and head to the backyard where the rest of the families were after he was done. Naruto dislike being pampered whether at home or outside, hated it when people looked at him sympathetically and resented it, even more, when they tell him ‘You are progressing really fast! I wish I could do as well as you!’ Naruto was not stupid, he knows when he was not doing as well as other kids at his age and he knows when people around him weren’t being truthful about it.

Slowly making his way up the stairs, little fingers groping maladroitly the railing of the stairs, Naruto reached his room by toddling awkwardly on his imbalance limbs, shoulders sometimes hitting the edges of various furniture adorning the house due to his lack of awareness of his own physique position in space and spatial relationships. Though he was a little bit slow, Naruto found himself paving his way towards the backyard where the rackets he was hearing the first time he stepped inside the manor originated, albeit with a simple white t-shirt messily strewn over his head and a pair of baby blue overalls that eliminated the whole process of buttoning and zipping up.

The flashes of bright and harlequin hues reflected in his eyes, the Namikaze lawn was clamouring with chuckling and energized prattles, scenes that Naruto constantly loved in spite of being not able to pass on a similar gaiety instantaneously, he adored being the side spectator all the same. More often than not, amid family or get-togethers, Naruto preferred to be a wallflower, shied far from blending with other youngsters yet he watched, contemplated how individuals would react at specific circumstances, how the muscle of their face functions so in tuned with their discourse and in idealize synchronized.

Though colourful it may be, cerulean orbs couldn't resist attaching themselves onto a boy of his age with a jet-black hair playing tag with Menma, Uchiha Sasuke.


	2. Vergonha

Social skills didn’t come as naturally to Naruto, not when the kids in the playground prodded him when he couldn’t climb the stairs of the slide fast enough, or that he couldn’t do the monkey bars. The younger neighbourhood kids told him that whenever it was his turn to play with the slides, they had to wait long and most of the time they excluded him from their game or be the last one to be picked during peewee soccer day. Naruto didn’t fret, the young blonde knows his own physique impediment without having others to point it at him.

Mommy told him that he was special, different from other kids and that it was all right for Naruto to be himself. The young Namikaze couldn’t find the statement to be agreeable the slightest when he could see the agony and sorrow on his mother’s visage each time she saw him struggling to pick himself up when he was shoved and pushed whenever they had playdates and how Naruto battled to have a free-flowing conversation with other kids.

* * *

“Menma is growing fast. Look at him go.” Uchiha Fugaku, head of Uchiha Corporations observed, dark eyes casting a fleeting look towards the said boy who was taller than Sasuke by a few inches.

Uchiha Mikoto and Namikaze Kushina nodded in agreement, jollity dancing behind their eyes as they watch those two boys playing tag around Sasuke’s older brother Uchiha Itachi, much to the older boy’s chagrin. Their boys were so full of spirit, generous with childish giggles and high-pitch snickers as the two-raven haired males tried to outsmart each other in their everlasting game of cat and mouse.

Itachi who had enough of the boys pulling at his hair and the neck of his expanding shirt decided to approach the talking adults instead, leaving both brunettes to their own antics. The 8-year-old boy was stunning, long, silky, midnight hair casually draped on one shoulder, the soft creases on his still child-rounded face made him looked slightly grim if not sombre and Kushina believed the boy will be breaking hearts in the future.

“Both of them are getting a little bit physical while playing, I noticed.” He initiated monotonously, thinking that they needed ground rules when it comes to physical aggression while playing together.

Kushina barked out a laugh, shaking her head before taking a sip of her orange juice, eyes directed back towards Menma whom right then was trying to tickle Sasuke into pulling up a white flag. The young mother knew Menma was rather fond of Sasuke, they had been playmates the moment they can babble gibberish towards each other despite the language barrier. Menma never liked his older brother Naruto that much, he labelled the older boy as mute – Kushina didn’t know where he learned that word, but her heart ached all the same when Naruto tried to dictate otherwise but was unable to.

“Good evening, Naruto.” The greeting coming from Itachi surprised her, only then she noticed the youngster standing not far from them, a hand balancing against nearby outdoor stool to keep himself upright.

The auricomous, seeming stunned with the welcoming too, faltered before looking up towards Sasuke’s older brother, a sheepish simper made a way to his coral pink lips when he lifted a hand up in reply. The young boy waved, or rather a bad imitation of a wave when he found it hard to make a repetitive motion with his limbs.

Itachi crouched in front of the youth, narrowed eyes effeminate with long eyelashes looked at the shy boy who was trying to appear smaller, “Come, my mother made the best cream puff and chocolate muffin in the world.”

The comment, accompanied by a slow grin directed towards him urged the smaller male to mirror the movement albeit a little bit sloppy. “O-oh…kay.” Several notches too soft for the dark-haired male to hear that he had to lean in until Naruto repeated with a sudden shout, “Kah, ka-kay!” Oblivious to the wrong volume he just used than the previous, the younger boy clambered to sit on the backyard chair.

Kushina was already filling in the cream puffs and some muffin for Naruto, and she placed the small plate in front of him with a hair ruffle on the young Namikaze’s head along with a glass of milk. Mikoto managed an amused chortle before adding two more on his plate, “Finish them all, both Sasuke and Menma already had their fill before. You won’t grow up fast enough if you cannot finish even this amount.”

Naruto laughed, overjoyed and jubilant with youth as the corners of his eyes crinkled into a crescent, nose scrunched up in blithe although his delight was muted, a laugh without sound. Itachi took the liberty to sit beside the boy, handing him a spoon and fork. For him, Naruto always looked so melancholic if not a little bit reclusive, most of the time the boy kept to himself with a - certain gleam that Itachi couldn’t place - in his eyes as the auricomous watched Sasuke and Menma played together.

Taking the utensil in his small hands, it took him several tries to find a comfortable position to hold them together, spoon on the left, forks on his right. The older boy beside him scrutinized him with his _dark, dark, dark_ endless black orbs as Naruto struggled to use both of his hand to separate the puff to access the creamy delight inside. The young Namikaze cast a wary look towards the older Uchiha beside him, cerulean orbs wavered before he turned away and put his utensil away, picking up the pastry with his fingers instead. This was much easier! Slow and messy eater he was, the cream puff filling smudged on his cheeks and his clothes was not a weird sight for Kushina.

“There’s a cream on your cheeks little one.” Kushina teased, poking her son on the cheek playfully before handing him a tissue.

Done wiping off the white substance on his cheek, Naruto got up on his knees to reach his glass of milk, staggering to stable himself before both of his hand closed around the tall, transparent glass. “Careful, dear. Don’t drop it.”

That exact moment, the glass in Naruto shaky grip slipped onto the hard pavement, broke into a thousand pieces. Naruto was quiet, until Kushina stood up abruptly, “Not again!” It stings.

Naruto scrambled down to pick up the remains of the glass, hands trembling. He managed to get a hold of a shard before his hand was snatched away, “Naruto, no! You’ll hurt yourself.” Minato’s voice boomed from beside him and Naruto flinched from the sheer volume before he was pulled away from the scene, his place was replaced by the maids to clean up the area.

Menma and Sasuke who arrived at the area to witness the commotion, stood on the side, two dark eyes wide, owlish in inquisitiveness before they dared to advance towards the scene. Naruto was sent inside before he could utter an apology, the tears brimming in his eyes, droplets stuck obstinately on his long eyelashes went unnoticed.

* * *

Later that night Naruto sat on his mattress, picking at the tender lines on the palm of his hand, red and painful when he hurt himself while holding the glass shard in his hand that evening. “H-hah. Hh-art…Noh. H-h…urt. Yi, yis.” It hurt, Naruto couldn’t determine which one ached more, his hand or his heart. His heart felt like it was squeezed, gripped that he thought he could hear his collarbone creaked. He couldn’t place a name to this emotion but when the day darkened, he was away from condemning eyes, his tears fell all the same.

Crawling inside the safety of his blanket, Naruto pulled the fluffy, dark blue comforter littered with children drawings of the universe up to his neck and turned to rest on his side, eyes wide as he faced the door. The lights that filtered through the small crack of the door hit his eyes and Naruto hissed from the brightness. The young boy huffed before sitting up, soft feet carrying himself to close the door fully until fast footfalls could be heard from across the hall, elated, childish pitches shriek accompanied the footfalls and Naruto back-pedalled, enough to be concealed in the shadows.

The youngest Uchiha was staying the night due to Menma’s petulant persistence and to Mikoto’s surrender. The two young boys ran ahead of the scolding Kushina, passing Naruto’s room.

Both of them burst into Menma’s room, bantering artlessly of who got the seat beside Kushina when she read them to sleep. “Faster mommy!” Naruto watched as Kushina picked both boys up on her shoulder while threatening to tickle them until they peed their pants playfully.

Cobalt blue eyes latched onto the scene until the door was closed and their laughter sounded muffled behind the door before he closed the door to his room and withdrew into his own bed. The young lord stared at the empty space in front of him for a long time before he could find it in himself to close his eyes. Naruto imagined his mother caressing his head and sung lullaby to him, his father lying beside him with a loose arm around Naruto and his little twin brother in between them, holding his hand. It wasn’t until the clock strike 4 o’clock in the morning that his eyes grew heavy.

* * *

**_5 years later._ **

“Naruto, what are you doing here?” Young Sasuke peeked at the space in between the upper and lower shelves of the school library that was shaped into a one-man sitting area, spotting Naruto who was squeezed in the cramped space with an iPad in his hand, eyes stuck onto the device.

His response to the question was a little bit delayed but Naruto managed a hushed, slurred reply, “Re-rod. R-rhed. Rrhead.” The auricomous crawled slowly towards Sasuke before stopping in front of him and showed him the material he was currently reading in his iPad ‘ _Neil Armstrong and Travelling to the Moon_ ’.

Sasuke snort, disbelief in his eyes at the digital book Naruto was showing in his Kindle application a shared family account with Minato and Kushina for them to monitor what books he was reading. The boy was a half-wit, he couldn’t read a book to save his life, Sasuke deemed. If that expression went noticed by the young boy in front of him, he did not indicate any, only a simper etched on Naruto’s pinkish lips as he waited for Sasuke’s next words.

“Menma and I are going out to the arcade this afternoon. So, I –“

“Sasuke! Hurry up!” Menma’s voice was changing, more boyish and rougher as he matured through the years. The younger twin was hanging by the large window sill of the school’s library, a sulky pout on his lips as he regarded his best friend. Why did Sasuke even bother with the mute in the first place? God forbid his best friend getting close to a disabled, minor character.

Sasuke, side-tracked by Menma’s voice turned to give his childhood friend a glare, unimpressed of being interrupted half-way. Naruto took the time to type his reply in his iPad text-to-speech application.

_I would love to go with you guys._

His thumb hovered over the sound play button when Sasuke spoke up again, “It’ll be appreciated if you could switch cleaning duty with us today.” The girls in their class always nagged whenever the boys played hooky on their cleaning duty days.

Naruto locked his iPad screen, letting it go black before the raven could read the words he wrote, pulling the device to his chest before nodding in affirmation. “Kk-can. Na-narhu…do. To. Rep-plase. Plase. Place, Ssawu-ke and Mmin-ma. Okah.” Sasuke frowned at the badly enunciated words, not understanding them other than that the blonde managed to say their names, though incorrect.

Naruto peered upwards into the dark pools, meeting with a muddled look he always got whenever the blonde tried to speak a long sentence towards them. Naruto tried again, albeit very slowly to carefully curled his tongue into less slurred words.

“O-kkay. Narhu…to re-replase bo…both. Gg-go, hab…no. H-ave fun.” Contented with his significantly improved accent, he put on a smile again before turning to face the boy he had a slight friend-crush on since forever. Sasuke was already climbing the window sill, with Menma’s haste ‘Thanks, big brother,’ they were already out, running towards the school gate with glee.

Naruto clambered from under the space, his heart slamming against his chest as it will for the youngest Uchiha to turn around and look at him, even a glance is enough. Sasuke didn’t.

* * *

Naruto hated the days when they had Physical Education on their timetable. They are doing baseball today, one of the many sports Naruto couldn’t do. Not with his current inadequate motor skills to coordinate himself to the rhythm of batting. He found it difficult to comprehend the non-verbal signals given to the batters most of the time, often making him the last choice for anyone to choose Naruto to be on their team. They called him bad luck and the youngster couldn’t agree more.

At 10, him who couldn’t do any sports without tumbling face first onto the grass, who couldn’t play any ball games correctly even with precise instructions, received the short-end of the stick. The teachers who knew his condition tried to placate by giving him free time during PE hours, struggled to bridge the gap between Naruto and his classmate until they left it all alone. The blonde with his theraputty in his hand as he sat on the bleachers and his classmates on the field.

The only sports that Naruto usually participated in school was swimming. Though Naruto was a little bit clumsy with the straight jump and front roll, he was getting there. Naruto’s favourite style was the breast stroke because it involved both sides of his body to move at the same time, less he turned right over while he tried to remember which hand goes first.

The private swimming lesson recommended by Dr Tsunade to improve his limbs coordination and muscle tone proved to be useful. The young Namikaze didn’t have to worry about seeing other kids advancing much further than he did or that he was progressing much slower than normal children.

Menma was the complete opposite of his older brother, boisterous and so full of life as he excelled in all kind of sports thrown at him. Be it basketball, soccer, or tennis, he owned them all. The adults sometimes joked that Menma was the one who sucked the gifts that were supposed to be Naruto’s while they were in their mother’s stomach, that was why Menma was the better of the two. They preferred Menma whom always answered Mathematical problems in front of the class - albeit a little bit vain than Naruto who struggled to hold a pen in his hand.

They told him he had a bad handwriting and he should do more exercise to fix it.

“There’s no such word as cannot.” Mr Mizuki said to him one morning, asking Naruto to rewrite the same, single sentence for the fifth time that day.

Naruto attempted again, much slower this time. His ‘A’s were crooked, his ‘L’s were half on the upper part of the line and the other half on the bottom of it. “I can’t,” he confessed, downcast as the youngster shook his head.

Mr. Mizuki repeated the same sentence, more forcefully this time, motioning for Naruto to try again. Naruto attempted again, several times, but he just couldn’t do it right. It made him feel even more humiliated when people told him otherwise.

* * *

Tsunade gave the small boy a new maroon coloured theraputty, smiling in earnest at the other blue theraputty Naruto was holding on his other hand, worn and well-used. “How are we feeling today?”

Naruto stared at the new theraputty in his left hand, placing his old on his lap before grasping the maroon on in both of his hands. The sound of Tsunade’s voice was stifled, hard for his ears to catch, “Umm… ho-ha, happy. Yy, yes. H-happy.”

Tsunade was giving names to all of his emotions, telling him how ‘happy’ should feel like and how ‘sad’ feels like. Before, Naruto couldn’t put his feelings into words, didn’t understand why he felt like his lips could crack with how wide he would smile when Kushina or Minato asked him about his day. He couldn’t tell when he felt sad most of the time other than when tears fell on his cheeks. But now, he could tell it is sadness too when Menma said hurtful things to him, it is sadness too when his mother said, ‘Let your brother do that for you,’ when they were running late and Naruto couldn’t tie his own shoelace.

The pain in his chest was called sadness too when Sasuke chose Menma over him every time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind comment! I really appreciated your thoughts regarding this story and that I found myself getting motivated every time I see kudos and comments coming in. I hope this chapter gave more insight into dyspraxia to you guys.
> 
> With love, Nana.


	3. Ausschluss

Tsunade nodded, proud even with Naruto’s current progress. The young Namikaze was tracing the words with a stylus on his iPad. Sometimes it took hours for Naruto to finish the motor skill therapy exercises, at times it took a little bit faster than that. The cute smile that the youngster flashed towards her from time to time, peach lips stretching wide with unadulterated grin made Tsunade soft, her usual harsh exterior melting with the warmth that radiates from the youth whenever he succeeded with whatever his doctor tasked him for the day.

Naruto’s speech was improving although it still needs more work from his side. Tsunade wanted Naruto to talk more, make him used to enounce the word correctly without being overly conscious of making a fool of himself but Naruto was having none of it. Talking in front of people made him jittery, trying to form a full sentence uneased him and getting a look of revulsion scared him.

“Have you been talking to Menma lately?”

Too focused on his iPad, Tsunade’s voice went over his head and he continued as if the wind just whispered by. The blonde female shook her head at the boy’s oblivious qualm before spinning her swivel chair to drag herself back towards her computer, leaving the young Namikaze to his device.

Menma and Sasuke weren’t exactly a good example for Naruto due to their refusal to accept Naruto’s incapability. Naruto, being the one who almost initiated any attempt to approach them was met with disdainful looks and hurtful taunting from the boys before they force him to retreat to his own shell, and Naruto did, too afraid to be hated.

 

* * *

 

 

Naruto was eleven when everything he slowly stacked, painstakingly built crumbled into pieces.

“Aren’t you two excited? Because mommy is so excited!” Kushina asked dragging the ‘o’ in ‘so’, red hair bouncing along with her childlike amusement before she crouched down to the boys’ eyes level, regarding both boys with a jubilant curve on her coral pink lips.

Menma, ever the brassier and boisterous of the two young Namikaze skipped over towards his mother to pepper her with wet, soundly kisses all over her cheeks, “Of course! It has been like, long, like, _forever_ we went for a holiday.” Kushina nodded in agreement, albeit in an exaggerated way to match her boy’s enthusiasm.

Naruto shuffled closer towards both of them, shyly hiding behind the device he was holding as if it could magically make him invisible. But he did try appearing genuinely ebullient as he nodded along to whatever activities Menma was listing and _demanded_ to do as soon as they reached the Namikaze summer villa with a secretive smile behind his iPad.

A vacation to the summer villa located in Uchiha private owned island was the families’ annual routine, but that year, the partnership between the Namikaze and the Uchiha has expanded their influence towards the south, bringing in another three big business partners, the Yamanaka, Nara, and Akamichi into their circle. The purpose of this get together was to tighten the bonds between the families, delve further into the south business arrangement and of course, an information exchanging.

Young Naruto, obstinate as ever, was never deterred. He was determined to befriend with the other three kids that his father has mentioned towards both Menma and him before. Minato said those three were around their age and it wouldn’t hurt to make more friends. Not that Naruto has any, to begin with – the animated, interactive cats and dogs on his iPad don’t count apparently.

As soon as all the luggage was loaded into the Mercedes-Benz GLE, they were off. The drive that took about three hours and another hour by the helicopter flew by quickly and before Naruto could process the information, they were already in front of the large villa, enough to fit six families of five at a time. The villa was bright, harlequin with shades of amber and peach like the night during the summer festival. It was _exquisite,_ dazzling and so fascinating but Naruto couldn’t cherish the scenery long enough before he hissed, turning away to pull down the baby blue crochet hat he had on down, covering his cerulean orbs from the invasion of the colours.

_It hurt._

_I want to see it, please._

Kurenai carted him away from the main hall of the villa along with his luggage, leading him towards his designated room. Naruto sat on the single bed, crossing his legs under him as he slid further to lean against the wooden headboard and with a brief press on the home button the device was unlocked. True to his routine, the young blond opened the Talking-Tom application, grinning brightly when the familiar cat with silly simper appeared in front of him.

Tsunade introduced the interactive application to him half a year ago to encourage him to talk more and the cat captured his heart when it replied to Naruto’s distorted greetings, although with a squeaky and funnier voice. The young lord made sure to talk to Tom at least once a day in the comfort of his own room, giggling to himself when he made Tom purred or when he tapped on his tail to tease the cat. Although Tom was a digitally created animation, it was the closest Naruto got as a friend.

“Naruto-sama, let’s get you change so we can have a tour around the villa?” Kurenai suggested standing a few feet beside him with a pair of white printed t-shirts and tangerine, cotton shorts in her arms. Kurenai was well aware of Naruto’s qualm of wearing clothes that didn’t fit well on him, too tight or too loose is no good due to her young master’s sensitivity to touches.

He nodded, approaching her to grab the clothes she was extending to him, whispering a soft gratitude in her way before he locked himself in the bathroom to change into fresher attire. As soon as Naruto was safely behind the privacy of the pristine, aqua blue painted bathroom, the weight of anxiety hit him full force, the determination from before dimming at an alarming rate.

Slumping down at the edge of the bath tub, he picked at the hem of his shirt, pulling at the stray strand there as he struggled to calm himself down. The self-pep talk didn’t work, chewing his bottom lips didn’t work and thus Naruto tried the labour room breathing exercises telling himself to _inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, inhale –_ no, that was not the correct sequence. He was at the edge, ready to tip over when Kurenai knocked the door, shocking Naruto out of his nervous breakdown.

The rap on the door was tinted with worries, Naruto felt guilty. “Naruto-sama? Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“N- nu, no. Al– m, most red, read- y.” wheezing out a quick reply as he pulled the shirt and the pants on, almost tripping when he misstep while tugging on the leg of his shorts. Walking out of the bathroom with a ruffled look and crumpled attire, the youngster met Kurenai who was eyeing him with a weird look on her face as she fixed the bird nest on Naruto’s head.

Kurenai flashed him a simper, placing the young Namikaze’s iPad in his hand before asking, “How are we feeling today?” A question that Tsunade imprinted into her mind, to name Naruto’s emotions. To give the bottled feelings an outlet.

The auricomous took his time before averting his eyes to meet hers, azure orbs shining behind lush, amber eyelashes like the sky itself, his eyes alone tell more stories than Naruto could voice out, but he settled with a simple, “Ve- vea…ry edcite- cited.”

“Excited, aren’t we? All right, let’s go and greet everyone.” Kurenai lead the young boy out, heading towards the pool area where the families will be barbecuing together, the opening activity that they agreed to.

Childish giggles could be heard from downstairs and Naruto approached the stairs railing to peek around it, spotting a female blonde with a cropped hair, pulled back with a girlish ribbon along with two other kids. The young Namikaze’s presence went unnoticed as the three kids bantered brassily towards each other, getting louder with the passing time before they zipped passed the stairs Naruto was standing on, into a sudden game of tag leaving echoes of cackles behind them.

“Kk- Ku, Kure...nyai. Na- nai. They- the, their n-names?” the youngster’s orbs were burnished in wonder and awe, swirls of Brandeis blue and celeste glistened behind in the two pools before he turned back to catch another glimpse of the children’s’ silhouette.

The genuine fascination etched on the boy’s visage broke her heart, “If I’m not mistaken, the blonde female one of the Yamanaka’s, Yamanaka Ino. The other two boys I’m afraid I do not know which one is Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji. This is my first time meeting the south families. My apologies, Naruto-sama.”

The youngster urged her to walk them towards the pool area faster, too eager to sit on the ball of his feet to stroll around the area.

 

* * *

 

 

Naruto spent the entire hour brooding behind one of the tall conifer hedges, knuckles white as he gripped to the sides of his iPad, while the adults were busy preparing for the big feast and the little children were clamorous, splashing in the pool. Kurenai tried handing him his own swimming trunk at one point and he took it only to keep it tucked in between his legs as he hid behind the comfort of the tall hedge, away from the strangers.

“Found you.”

The iPad in his hand flew upwards, toppling sideways before the auricomous tried to scramble away on his hands and knees, too spooked to fully comprehend the rational reaction towards the situation. He was stopped merely with fingers hooked at the back of his shoes, with a grace of a penguin, Naruto tried to scream but the incoherent babble version of his S.O.S was all he could manage until the offender called him by his name, albeit with an amused tone lacing behind his single sword, “Naruto.”

That stopped Naruto on his track, his helpless, futile mewls ceased before he turned his head around to look at Sasuke’s older brother. The older male was wearing a lopsided smile, black orbs spinning with brimming mirth at Naruto’s silliness.

“Your mother and father were searching for you.” At this, Naruto shook his head, disbelief before he turned to pull his leg that was in Itachi’s grasp closer to him. Even though he was hiding behind the tall fence, he did take a glimpse once a while to see if Kushina or Minato were looking for him but both of them busied themselves in helping Mikoto and Fugaku setting up the tables and the barbecue stations.

Itachi took the nonverbal response as a sign of the end of the conversation before his eyes caught the sight of his younger sibling, perched on Menma’s shoulder as the fought in a mock war with the other two boys, Shikamaru and Chouji.

“I’m sure the kids would like to play with you too. Come.” The older Uchiha stood up from his kneeling position and before Naruto could dictate otherwise the male was already ushering him towards where the crowds were.

Stopping right in front of the large pool area, all the kids went silent, five pairs of eyes latched onto Naruto’s form before Ino broke the silence with an invitation, pale lips curving into candid grin as she regarded the newcomer, “Hey, come join us! Now the numbers are even, I can play in the water war too.”

“Uh, um...” stuttering his way to form a comprehensible sentence, Naruto tried to hide his speech issues like a knee-jerk, almost automatic response, “Na- naru, do, cc-hange.” He ran away after that, leaving Ino bewildered with his actions.

By the time he came back, the boys had already started a new round, Ino sulking at the edge of the pool with a sullen look, obviously finding it unfair that she could not join in their game. Naruto sat beside her, “L- lll-et’s pla-v. Play.”

Naruto joined their game.

It was a disaster.

Naruto ended up being discarded by the fifth game, Chouji ended up with both Ino and Shikamaru on his shoulder as he was the biggest one among them. At first, Naruto was accepted with open arms even though disdainfully from Menma’s side with the young Namikaze mocking that Ino would not win a game, not with Naruto on his side. The new kids did not understand what it was about but when the game started and Naruto found it difficult to maneuverer in the water with an added weight on his shoulder ended up slipping, could not even lift Ino back up on his shoulder without the help of Chouji. He could not hold his ground when their horse was attacked from the front and he needed to support himself by walking near the edge of the pool.

By the end of the second hour and the kids were called up, Shikamaru and Chouji were already best friends with Menma and Sasuke, Ino, on the other hand, was honestly smitten with the younger Uchiha and Naruto was still friendless.

“Hey, how about we go that place tomorrow, Sasuke?” the sly look on Menma’s face was soon mirrored by Sasuke’s, almond shaped eyes squinting in a cheeky way, an inside joke that only Menma and Sasuke understood. Naruto who was standing beside his younger twin to hand them their towels felt like an outsider, he was, and he will learn that soon enough.

Ino advanced towards them, brows furrowed in displeased at their exclusion from whatever the two boys were planning. “Hello! We are here too! Where are you two going tomorrow? We wanna come with.” The female blonde quipped, acting as if she represented the other three quiet witnesses of the exchange.

Sasuke’s dark pools darkened, sliding to meet with Menma’s lighter shades of black with a quirked of an eyebrow. Menma shrugged before nodding his affirmation and telling them to wear something comfortable – no skirts – and sports shoes.

“But you’re not coming with us.” Menma pointed towards Naruto who was looking like a deer in headlights.

“B-but, Nn-na! hu…to w-won. Want to c-ome. Come… too.” He shook his head insistently, refused to be left behind again.

Menma regarded him cynically before turning away, “Just don’t slow us down.”

The words stung and Naruto who wore his heart on his sleeve showed how much it hurt him to hear those words, but none commented on it.

They were going hiking.

 

* * *

 

 

They were half-way up as told by Menma for the tenth time that day and Naruto was feeling the weight on his legs and his back. Their hike was not that high but could be challenging for a bunch of kids trying to hike their way up towards the secret hideout Menma was boasting nonstop about. Naruto was left behind, he told them to go on ahead when Menma turned around to give him the ‘told you so’ before resuming his track, showing no reservation of leaving his brother staggering by himself.

The young Namikaze was left to hike alone for the rest of the way and Naruto thought it was fitting so he posted no objection, or he will be dragging everyone’s feet. He didn’t want to be hated.

By the time Naruto catch up to them, the sky has darkened into a beautiful colour of persimmon and Fulvous, and they were all sitting on the green patches of grass shadowed with large looming trees to provide cool shades underneath. In front of them, a magnificent small waterfall decorated with small colourful stones, shallow enough to reach their ankle, clear enough to see the distorted reflection of their feet underneath and the water was calm enough for them to cross.

The distance between the flat surface of the wall and the high fall several meters down was not that wide, giving them a limited space to play but all of them were too mesmerized with the Mother Nature beauty to even complained. Ino and Chouji were already splashing inside the cool water while Menma and Sasuke were tugging off their shirts and pants off to reveal their swimming trunks underneath.

“M- Min..ma. Ka- ka..carful. Care...f-ful.” Both Menma and Sasuke were playing too close towards the edge of the waterfall, undeterred with Naruto’s concerned reminder.

Menma slipped, Naruto was already on his feet before a resounding cackle broke the alarming moment as his younger twin pulled himself up with Sasuke’s help but not before tugging Sasuke into the water too with him playfully all the while guffawing at the Uchiha’s unimpressed look. Naruto sat back on his heels, pulling up his iPad carefully to snap the moment into his device, capturing it into stillness inside his device.

The youngest Uchiha always looked the brightest, the most relaxed when he was around Menma after all, even though the smile was not for him, but he felt his heart warmed at the soft creases all the same. But, what happened next was totally out of Naruto’s control, it was like a slow-motion when Sasuke tried to stand up from his position, but his feet failed to find a stable footing until he slipped, the water dragging him to the edge as Sasuke yelped in panic, arms flailing in front of him. When the harsh velocity of water tipped him and Sasuke screamed as his body slid downwards and he was falling.

“Sasuke!!!” Menma caught him, knees digging into the dry soil as he gripped Sasuke’s cold hand like a vice, face red with the exertion of holding the raven-haired boy. Naruto spurred into action when Menma shrieked for help, taking Sasuke’s other hand in his. Chouji and Shikamaru were too afraid to respond and Ino was already on her phone, calling her father trying to explain the current situation in between sobs.

“Chouji, Shikamaru, help us pull him up.” The drag force between the water and Sasuke’s own weight was taking everything out of the both Namikaze to hold onto him. Sasuke was silent, closing his eyes as he tried not to look under him.

“Sa-sa, suke. S-sa, suke. Na! r-ruto got yo. You.” Naruto tried to calm down the boy though his words went unnoticed as Menma was shouting words or reassurance towards his best friend, that he was going to be okay and they were going to pull him up now.

The young blonde struggled to pull Sasuke even with help from both Chouji and Shikamaru and when Sasuke placed a hand on his shoulder, words could not describe how happy he was, and he tried to express it towards Sasuke who was wheezing, clearly out of breath when Naruto’s body tipped forward from the sudden pull of Sasuke’s body upwards, no bodies to pin him to ground unlike Menma’s who was held by Chouji and Shikamaru and he was falling.

The last thing he remembered seeing was Sasuke’s wide eyes, bloodshot from his crying, the loud splashing that sent his ear ringing, the pain behind his head and the diluted crimson in the water before he blacked out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little bit late and I'm really sorry about that. I'm in the middle of final examinations and I had to get this out of my head before I'm flooded with engineering formulas and theories. This is un-betaed and unedited but I hope the mistakes are minimal. I'll be making changes to this chapter tomorrow. Tell me what you think.
> 
> With love, Nana.


	4. Reculer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a late upload, but I'm glad I was able to give it to you guys today. Happy late Christmas!!!  
> It's currently 3;13 AM here, so I'll reply to comments on the previous chapter in the morning. Thank you for the warm wishing for my exams (I did well!) and the kind words on my work. I really appreciated it!!

The air already smelled like half summer and half autumn, but not quite ready to change, the heady summer air was stifling as if he was breathing in the bath water, the room felt like it was closing in to him and he felt as claustrophobic as a cat in a box. When Naruto opened his eyes, it was in the middle of a summer night, sweat clinging to his strangely flimsy attire that was only held by a few strings on his back. He was alone and the room should be empty, or so he thought until a lizard announced his presence on the ceiling.

Struggling to sit up, Naruto couldn’t fathom as of why he felt as if he was cuffed until his eyes fell towards his cemented, obviously broken left hand. He warbled in an attempt to fuss at the strange sight and his throat felt as if he was swallowing course sand raw, his voice came out with an undistinguishable husky whisper from disuse. Taking in his surrounding, he deduced that he was in a hospital by the aseptic whiff in the room, if the brightly coloured pills and concentrated, dark syrups were not enough of hints. The room was dark, only lit by the lights seeping from underneath the door, the moonlight from the shutters and the blue lights from the air-conditioner.

Naruto blinked the dark spots swirling in front of him off, small fist rubbing at his eyes in order for him to be able to see properly in the dim room until he spotted his iPad, resting neatly at the coffee table across the room. He tried to stand up fast enough until he had a whiplash, sending him toppling backwards on the single mattress hospital bed, head pounding in vengeance at his hastiness. Unable to produce a single sound of pain, the auricomous settled on grimacing, his good hand flying up to press on the side of his head only to falter when his fingers found a soft fabric tied around his head. The young Namikaze tried to bring forth the memories of their dangerous stunt from before but whatever he could remember was fragmented and muddled at best.

Moving without pain, without aches, was one thing that people used to take for granted. That day, the youth’s muscles felt as though they have been flash-burned with acid from the inside - just sufficient to make them move like the living cells have been replaced by is rubber bands, thick and twisted. The pain sat on Naruto’s heels, at the back of his head and his shoulders, ready to hammer down the strikes that radiated in a way that shattered his brain – at least that was how it felt like to him right then. The discomfort that throbbed in his gut was deep and warm, but not in a nice way.

His little trip towards his precious device was not pretty, whatever or whomever inside his brain was determined to pound on his head as if it was a kettle drum, he walked like his limbs did not belong to him and every step was a negotiation rather than order. Naruto found himself heaving as soon as he collapsed on the sofa in the room. Cerulean blue glistened with unshed tears as he endured the agony that accompanied his achy limbs, delicate blonde hairs fell onto his brow, skin so pale it rendered him stark against the dreary morn. Tiny hands managed to clutch on his iPad before his eyes grew heavy once again, worn out by the physical activities that his body was subjected to. Pulling the rectangle device to his chest the youngster curled into himself, the sound of the clock lulled him to sleep, the click-clacking sound outside of his room was drowned until his world was dark once again.

 

* * *

 

 

Kushina found her son’s crumpled form on the sofa the next morning, limbs pulled taut towards himself defensively. The sight was met with disbelief that the red-head stood nailed onto the floor for a few minutes before it actually registered into her brain that after ten days of slumbering, her boy was finally awake. Even though the blonde was sleeping, Kushina paid no heed to run towards the curled figure, dwarfed by the sheer size of 4-seater sofa with a frown etched on the rather flawless visage. Cold, dainty fingers with Sakura blossom painted nails halted before they could reach the boy’s cheek, and the smile that previously made the room temperature rose dimmed as the red-head took in the gauze that was covering half of Naruto’s face except for the lower part of his nose and his mouth.

“Hey… that was a long nap you took.” Cerulean met jade. The bleary look that her boy threw in her way made her shoulders shook in restrained mirth and Naruto’s hardened orbs softened before shifting to regard his mother properly.

Clearing his throat, he peeked up towards Kushina who was brimming with anticipation, “Mm- mommy?”

Kushina sat down on the white marble floor, fuchsia lips curving in a forlorn smile as she rested her chin on the sofa facing Naruto’s sideways one, “I’m here, my sweet boy.” her fingers brushed the auricomous’s hair and Naruto absorbed the affection like sponge towards water, nuzzling his nose into the palm of her hand. The young Namikaze basked in the attention for a while before a realization hit him.

“M- min, Min –mma?” and as if on cue, both Minato and Menma barged into the room, Minato was breathing hard and his shirt was half-way untucked underneath the dark blazer yet Menma whose hand in Minato’s grasp was wearing a begrudging scowl.

Kushina helped Naruto to his feet and brought him to the bed. The older Namikaze fretted over him for several minutes until Naruto nodded and affirmed that he was feeling fine before he relinquished his position that was too close in the youngster’s bubble to be comfortable. His retreat was accompanied by a handsome grin. That sort of half smile that ticked up on one side. Naruto felt as if he was on a cloud, both his mommy and daddy were finally giving the attention he craved, their eyes finally latched on him, not on Menma. If that was selfish of him, he could not find it in himself to be remorseful at that moment.

They had lunch together that day, though Naruto had to stick to half-solids as per his doctor’s instruction in case his stomach went into a shock of receiving solids after ten days of receiving nutrients from IV drips only. Menma did not utter a word yet towards him no matter how many times Naruto coaxed him into a conversation. Maybe it was because Naruto was asking about the weather itself. The scorching sun that will render anyone, anything underneath it cooked apparently was not a good topic.

Naruto tried again but before his voice cord could vibrate to form words, his mother intercepted his attempt with a scolding look, voice cold towards Menma, “I believe there is something you are supposed to say to your brother?” Menma’s dark orbs flashed for a moment before darkening and beautifully sculpted lips flattened into a grim line.

The question was met with silence on Menma’s part until Minato’s voice broke him out of his blatant disobedience towards Kushina, “Answer your mother, Menma.” Minato was not strict per se, but he was stern and rarely tolerate when it came to mistakes that could cause a large riff between both of his sons.

“It wasn’t my fault.” It came out soft initially until Kushina narrowed her eyes in his way, dissatisfied with his answer and that was Menma’s breaking point. The young boy stood up abruptly, red-rimmed eyes pinned Naruto on his spot.

Minato was about to interject when Menma continued, his words crashed out unchecked, unaltered, “He was the one who wanted to follow us!” he jabbed the air with a pointed finger at each utterance, jet black eyes set hard in harsh slits unbefitting of a child, “I told him that he would drag us down if he comes, but that… Naruto refused, said he wanted to come with us! It was not my fault that he fell down from the waterfall!” Menma was shaking in anger, Naruto could see his lips curling in condescension as if he was holding back but this was an explosion in progress, no reverse gear, no dampeners when he spat out his next words, laced with hatred so potent that Naruto could smell it in the air.

“It was his own fault! Sasuke almost fell too because of him!” Menma was breathing harshly when he was done, charcoal orbs that were previously bloodshot in dangerous glint were glistening though before the transparent pearls could drop, the said boy dashed out of the room with an angry shout of ‘I hate you!’ thrown into the stilled room.

The older of the twin was quiet, legs drawn to his chest as if he was trying to protect himself from his little brother’s outburst. Was it his fault? Naruto was reeling, his small fingers bunching the blanket into his tiny palm as he hid his face in between the small space of his legs and his chest. He face was hot, his heart felt as if it was being squeezed and the warmth he felt at the corners of his eyes was waiting to spill over. Naruto wanted to do something, anything or rather hurt something but he did not know where to start, his time halted waiting for the youth to make up his mind. He could hear his own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from inside, eyes wide, lips wobbling but not a single tear drop onto his cheeks. He could not cry.

The young blonde had spent most of his younger childhood days in tears, out of everyone’s scrutiny that he was sure he had nothing left to give out of his heart. But when the salty droplets fell one by one from his cheeks but never reaching his chin, the walls that held him just collapsed. Kushina held him in her embrace, rocking him slowly with hushed whispers of reassurance, clearly shocked with Naruto’s sadness whom she painfully remembered never had the experience of cajoling those fat tears into stopping before. A tiny lapse let him pulled away, blinking lashes heavy with tears before he collapsed again towards her chest with a heartbreaking sob.

 

* * *

 

Fugaku and Mikoto came the next day though without Itachi and Sasuke in tow. Kushina and Minato were also in the room, minus Menma. When Naruto asked about his younger twin, Minato could only provide a shake of his head and a reluctant smile in his way, coaxing him to drop the subject. Menma said that it was his fault that Sasuke almost fell from the waterfall, he could not bring himself to ask about it in front of both Uchiha matriarch and patriarch out of fear they would place the blame on his shoulders too. He would not be able to take it. Every time the door slid open the next three days, he silently hoped that he would see either Menma or Sasuke strolling into the room and tell him that everything was just a joke. Naruto would not mind being played a cruel joke on, being laughed at, he just wanted to soothe himself that it was not his doing that Kushina and Minato were so worried. It was not his intention to reduced Menma into such outburst and that he wanted to apologise to both Sasuke and Menma of his prior selfishness into coming with them.

When both of Uchiha heirs came into his room the very next day of his prayer, Naruto was on his iPad, talking softly towards Tom whom barely could detect his monotonous voice. Itachi was wearing his usual nonchalant simper, giving out the air that there was nothing threatening about him when the older male greeted the young Naruto with a basket of fruits on one hand. Taking the seats beside Naruto’s bed, Itachi did not waste any time to launch a question regarding his overall wellbeing.

“Does your head still hurts? I heard from Kushina that your head hit a rock during the fall.” Arm stretched out as if he wanted to pat on the carefully bandaged head until Naruto flinched away, his body angled to move out of Itachi’s reach before he could think otherwise.

Feeling guilty of treating the older boy as if he was a plague, Naruto’s eyes cast downwards before actually answering, “N- nno. No- n-not… hu-hurt. Any, ann-ny mm-more. Aa-ny m-ore.” His speech disorders made the heat rised onto his cheeks, especially when his own stuttering voice echoed in the airless room.

Sitting back on the chair, hands folded on his lap he took in the state of Naruto in, half of his face bandaged and his arm in a cast that looked hard to move in made him turn to send his little brother a look. With a withdrawn gaze from Sasuke, Itachi was dismissed.

Feigning ignorance of the stink eye his little brother was sending him, he started, “Sasuke here wanted to say something to you, regarding the incident from before.” Tactless as he may come out at the time, the older Uchiha was positive Sasuke would not apologise without his prompt, not without bruising his ego. Uchiha Sasuke was a proud boy.

The disbelief glower plastered on Sasuke’s face proved exactly how bad the boy was taking the betrayal of his own older brother. Standing up, the younger Uchiha muttered a soft ‘It wasn’t my fault, to begin with.’ Before attempting to walk out of the room, much like Menma the other day but much calmer. His manoeuvre was however halted by Itachi stepping in front of him, a disapproving expression was all Sasuke needed to turn back around albeit begrudgingly.

“Apologise.” Though Itachi was only several years older, his sternness was nothing to sneeze at, coupled with onyx marbles and traditional Uchiha scowl, for a mere teenager, he was intimidating enough. Towards the small child right then, he was a fire-breathing dragon, readied to burn him into crisp. With a finality in his word, the Uchiha firstborn walked out of the room, sliding the door closed behind him noiselessly.

The younger of the two with a seemingly permanent glower on his slightly effeminate visage know that he was not going to stroll out of the room alive without apologising towards Naruto who made an effort not to look at him in the eye. Sasuke moved to lean back against a nearby wall, a petulant pout on the child-rounded face, an epitome of a spoiled brat not getting his way out of things.

Deciding to cut Sasuke some slack, Naruto shifted forward, trying to appear welcoming – he always did when it came to Sasuke – letting his legs dangled. With carefree swinging of those chubby legs, the young blonde meekly peered up at him, “S- Ssasu, Ss-aske, do-don’t apo- apo…lo gg-ise.” He almost bit his own tongue at the effort.

“That wasn’t my intention in the first place.” Before the pain could reflect in his eyes Naruto blinked back the hurt, his feet that were kicking in the air gradually came to a stop. He could not utter a word in reply, did not need to because Sasuke continued with his speech, “My family are now angry at me all because of you. If you didn’t come in the first place, this wouldn’t happen.”

_It was all his fault._

Naruto was quick to come to his sense this time, the muscle of his chin wobbled to form some sort of apology but Sasuke was unforgiving, “Menma was grounded two days before was also because of you, right? Menma was doing a favour of bringing you along but…” any kind of words that Naruto wanted to spill was now stuck on his throat, his face temperature rose, from what, he could not fathom.

 “I wish you never existed.” A pure resentment that solely fuelled Sasuke made his words clipped and merciless, but the boy barely paid a heed to the warning bells in his ears. Considering himself done, Sasuke leaned forward on his heels to pull away from the wall he was leaning shifting on the ball of his feet to pivot towards the door.

Naruto’s haunted voice stopped him on his track, “M-my bb-ad. I’m ss-ssorry, s- sorry.” Naruto wanted to say more, but he knew, if one more word tumbled from his lips, tears were going to fall too. It was never his goal to back Sasuke into a corner, Naruto never intended to make Sasuke feel so burdened by his existence. He just wanted a friend to lean on, but his greediness seems to have brought nothing but problems towards people around him. As a child, he gave all he had, eager to please – his whole heart and more, showered people around him with love just to grasp any minuscule, no matter how skinny, shallow and brief the repayment was

 

* * *

 

 

Since that day, Naruto had not uttered a single word, as if the reaper had silenced his soul, hiding behind his empty gaze and beneath his protective shell. It had been a whole month since the young Namikaze was discharged, the words that Kushina and Minato managed to catch whisper of gradually decreased until Naruto would not answer them verbally anymore. A shake or a nod of his head and sometimes through the speech-to-voice application on his iPad were their only means of communication. Tsunade also met a dead end with Naruto’s sudden regress and when asked as of why he would not talk anymore, all she received were a reserved look of dismissal from the boy.

Naruto sought to talk from time to time within himself, but he could not find the courage to properly make his tongue and lips to enunciate words, all words stuck in his throat as if he was reliving the day Itachi and Sasuke came to visit him at the hospital. He did not want to cause any error by speaking his mind and being self-centred again, the guilt was too heavy and it was eating him inside. The riff he caused between Sasuke, Menma and himself was palpable and he made it an effort not to appear in front of both boys whenever the young Uchiha came over, hiding in their library. Naruto could not face him, not until he can find a way to fix his wrongdoings towards both boys.

Some are scared of clowns, some of heights or falling. But Naruto was not scared of any of that - not spiders, not snakes, or the dark. His greatest fear came in a form of expressions, he was always afraid of being loathed, scorned, no matter how people around him reminded the youngster not to mind what other people thought about him. He was afraid of being forgotten – the prospect of when he died later, time itself will overlook him; that he'll live an unimportant life, like a passing shadow. Smothering the thought away by nosing further into the book he was reading, though his eyes courageously betrayed his will to look outside, towards the courtyard. Sasuke and Menma were playing hide-and-seek, pathetically to Naruto’s opinion due to their lack of area to hide and it was either Menma or Sasuke as the searcher.

Book laid forgotten by his calves as he stood on his knees and tried to peer closer, to see what those boys were up to. Naruto could not join but observe was free-of-charge. Jealousy was an understatement to what he was experiencing, Sasuke would simper softly, lips moving in cloying vapidity – that was envy talking – and Menma would giggle back as if he was four and a half. With his head laying on his arms, a pair of cerulean sky optics softened, and Naruto watched them from afar, hidden until both boys retreated into the Namikaze manor.

 

* * *

 

 

“I believe, a different approach is in order to pull Naruto out of his sudden regression.” Tsunade was sitting behind a large white, modern table, a clipboard in her hand with Naruto’s picture clipped on the side. Kushina and Minato were sitting in front of her yet the person they were discussing was not with them.

The purpose of their visit to Tsunade’s office that day was due to their increasing worry of Naruto’s withdrawal state as of lately, they were out of their wits but refused to surrender to the fate. Their firstborn’s previous progress was a positive proof that even though Naruto was born lacking, he was able to compensate albeit much slower than other children around his age. They came to pressed the doctor into action, to see if the doctor were as elite as most people claimed her to be to handle their child and it seems like their decision was not fruitless after all.

“I’m listening.” Kushina’s slender, much smaller hand were linked in between Minato’s larger one, resting languorously in his lap as if it was a habit for them. The blonde female leered good-naturedly at her childhood friends.

Tapping the pen in between her index finger and middle finger to her temple restlessly, “Send him to Suna. I have a colleague there that specialize in this field, especially for children cases, like yours.” She knew her request to send Naruto six hours away from the Namikazes were a harsh request, but Naruto could not be fixed if he stayed in Konoha, not anymore.

The environment that Naruto live in at the moment put a great amount of stress to his growth, dampening it into hiccups, and now that his gradual development had ceased abruptly, Tsunade could not overlook this matter anymore. The key catalyst, Sasuke Uchiha, was no longer usable – the young doctor did not know what happened to cause Naruto avoiding the male like a contagious disease, but she was determined to find out – and the presence of Menma in the equation complicated Naruto’s feeling. A blossoming emotion, barely budding, like the start of a spring that he secretly harboured for the young Uchiha.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me your thoughts on this kind of plot and if you found any grammatical error or spelling mistakes in the text, please do let me know. 
> 
> With love, Nana


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